RU-BY Chibi
by Stark Savior-the mad engineer
Summary: Vahlen's gotten her hands on a machine that selectively alters reality to a relative normal. How bad is Bradford going to freak out, and how much havoc will XCOM's soldiers wreck on the Avenger?


**Hello, fans of XCOM and RWBY both! From the depths of DrAmish's discord server comes the very first published compilation of the RU Chibi gang!**

**Let's hope that this doesn't become the first attempt to fail and subsequently die after being published.**

**As always, I do not own nor do I claim to own RWBY, XCOM, nor any other works that this fic is inspired by.**

* * *

On the Avenger, Pyrrha is skipping in the hallway, when she comes across a group of MEC troopers sitting at a mess hall table, binging on an enormous amount of sweets and pastries.

"So, I'm taking it that The List is being ignored by almost everyone on the Avenger while Bradford is looking for the reality anchor?"

"I think he already found it. Now he's trying to get Vahlen to shut it off so he can get us under control."

"I have a feeling that's going to take a while. Vahlen seems very keen on observing us, probably for a sociology study on insane soldiers. Too bad psionics were turned off, though."

"So, care to walk around, see what's going on with everyone? I mean, do you think that you can break all of the rules here, when there's a whole Avenger full of soldiers, engineers, and scientists out there…"

"Sure. After all, I heard that some of the engineers are now making a lot of Rule-Breaking-Items for everyone to use. Wonder if Ruby joined them yet."

"Probably will finish making a chainsaw hybrid in 5 minutes. Might be able to see it in action if we sprint, depending on how fast Bradford's elves get there."

"I like the way you think. You're on!"

* * *

In the deep underbelly of the Avenger, a band of red hooded fellows is bringing fiction to life. In the midst of chanting, a Weapon is coming into existence. As its casing, internal workings, and other parts are positioned and then compared against the blueprint, ancient rituals are performed to satisfy the machine spirits of the tools, and the weapon to be. Gradually, the pieces come together, and the chanting dies down as a female approaches the object carefully.

Pyrrha and Martin are silently looking at Ruby with disapproval as she turns around, chainsword in hand, and starts giggling nervously. Martin speaks up. "Captain Rose, you do know that you didn't have to join the Cult bleeding Mechanicus. I thought you were better than this."

Ruby fidgetted. "Well, they were so far into it that they literally would not listen to me until I put this on. After that, things got complicated."

He sighs exasperatedly and then grumbles, "Those ruddy quacks can't even get a pulse lance working right. Sacred oils, my arse." He speaks to Ruby again, "It would be better if you uncomplicated it real soon."

"There won't be a need for that. I have a simple solution to all of this." Someone piped up.

The chainsword in Ruby's hands fell into chunks as she dropped it in surprise.

"Julian. Why in the world are you here and not dressed up like your fellow engineers?"

"That would involve telling you something that's between me, AI JULIAN, and Shen. Needless to say, I'm one of Shen's assistants in stopping the dangerous shenanigans. Also, Ruby. Rule 176."

Ruby attempted using her dangerously adorable puppy dog eyes to plead for mercy. Julian very quickly shielded his face with a clipboard and started walking away, with Ruby in tow.

* * *

Many minutes later, as Ruby is tailing Julian, simply following him as she had given up on trying to puppy dog eye him into submission, they come across 5 knocked out operatives, one Valkyrie doing a spaztastic victory dance, and twenty arc throwers on the ground.

"The heck happened here, Nora?" asked Ruby.

"They said that they could handle me for twenty rounds. But they were wrong!"

"Nora, there are twenty used arc throwers on the ground." At this, Nora slowly came to a stop, looked at the two of them, and subsequently passed out.

"Guess even Nora has her limit for arc tasing, huh?" Julian mocked.

"That may be so, but I do not believe that is the reason for Master Sergeant Valkyrie's current state" stated someone neither Julian nor Ruby. At this, Julian and Ruby froze up, turned around, and looked at a dead man walking, Colonel Shaojie 'Chilong' Zhang.

With a cry of "Zhang," Ruby launched herself at the previously departed colonel and glomped him, almost toppling him.

"Zhang? You look surprisingly alive. I thought you died at the base defense during the Temple Ship Assault." Ruby and Zhang both glare at Julian. "What? It's not like I'm making this stuff up. If he died, how is he alive here?"

"I believe the proper response to this situation is 'I got better.'" chided Zhang.

"That still doesn't explain anything, jackass. 'You got better,' does not explain rising from the dead, even if you are a XCOM soldier."

"It does now."

"Whatever. Guess no one can get a decent answer from a soldier no matter what happens. Might as well leave this to the medics. A pity, I thought that Pierce and Grayson would have more sense. Guess that they're going to get chewed out by the doctors."

* * *

"You're sure that this is safe, Beags?" Major [Redacted] was understandably nervous as hell, even if he had once beaten the odds when it came to the rules. After all, the horror stories widely spread by most likely Bradford were enough to unnerve probably even sadistic psychopaths, like Vahlen.

"Since when has anything XCOM done be safe? Of course it isn't!"

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole."

"What can I say? This is what XCOM is all about!"

"Ok then, what's the chances of this sending me to the medbay for major injuries?"

"Don't worry, you'll be fine!"

And with that, Major [Redacted], wearing a Vortex suit and heavily insulated gloves, stuck a hand inside a psionic computer.

When Beagle came to, the room was covered in scorch marks, there was a small fire in the corner of the room being fought back by technicians, the computer was gone and replaced by an eldritch structure of fractal rectangles, and three Major [Redacted]s were being dragged out of the room by three Vahlens.

"And that is what happens when Rules made for the expressed safety of operatives are broken, Beagle."

"... By the Great Commandy One, Vahlen's a confirmed sadist! Run for your lives!"

One and a half technicians came over and promptly duck taped Beagle's mouth to shut him up.

* * *

**Like what you read and want more like this? comment with what you would like to see next, or drop in Amish's discord. We can always use more idea generators in The List brain trust.**


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